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Page 4
A Scramble In Time
Chapter 4: Operation Schpice Girls
By Feldmarshall Edwin Rommel
Early the next morning Rommel is looking at the furious activity around Hut 3 while shaving. Kugelblitz seems in a highly exited state this morning. During the past two minutes Rommel has observed two particularly bright bulb explosions. Hanz is hammering steel pegs into the frozen ground as fast as he can. A third bulb is starting to glow furiously in his mouth as he is in the final stages of hammering in the last steel pin.
Rommel turns away from the window, and with a few final strokes drops the Remington on the bedside table. He quickly draws the pink woollen gown over his Afrika Korps issue pyjamas, slips on the bunny-eared slippers and rushes outside to see what the excitement outside Hut 3 is all about.
He slips and slides over the frozen ground towards Hut 3, where a confused looking Hanz Kugelblitz has just stopped hammering. The bulb in his mouth has just stopped glowing. He takes it out, holds it up against the faint early morning sky and gives it a couple of gentle shakes before popping it into his mouth again. The bulb remains stubbornly unlit.
As he turns to go and get a new bulb from Hut 3, Rommel arrives.
"Ach Good morning Liebchen . . . ist Breakfast ready already . . .Ach Himmel . . . Zorry Herr General . . . I did not recognise you . . . nice uniform?"
"Ach cut ze jokes. Vhot is happening zhis morning, you seem puzzled?"
"Ja . . . Herr General, I got ein schtrong signal until juzt now. Now it's gone. But I do have somevhot zhat I vant to have ein talk mit Numberkruncherz and ze section heads ob Hutz von and twei about. Ve vill come und zee you in your offize as soon as we have decided vhot ze newest messages means."
Later that same day in Rommel's office.
"Himmel Numberkruncherz . . . are you sure . . . zhis is absolutely fantastisch!"
"Herr General, ve are relatively confident that the frequency and periodicity of ze occurrence departs zo much from ze normal curve zhat . . ."
" NUMBERKRUNCHERZ!!"
Kugelblitz, looking especially haggard this morning with numerous small cuts on his face, some with bits of glass still in them, steps in on behalf of the maths expert.
"Herr General, if I may, I have never seen anything like this before. Zhe messages were very clear, spaced very closely and originated from the same source on ze American East coast and ze events has during the last two weeks"
"Zo vhot is zo unusual about zhis?"
"Vell, General, zhe measurements have never been zo precise before, und it alvays happens at ze same time in ze morning within a space of five minutes, and it has only schtarted during ze last tvo days. Ve are conviced zhat ve are right"
"Himmel Kugelblitz. Sit down all of you. Here, have some Schnapps, it looks like you need it. Zo let me make sure I have zhis right. During zhis past two days you have received messages from ein station in America called API by ein agent called Reuters. The essence of ze messages is zhat ze Allied lend-lease agreement ist at ein end, und zhat England now has launched ein clandestine invasion of America using ein new secret all-girl group, und zhat thousands of disillusioned Americans are rushing to join ze Tommy cause. Himmel, pour me von as well. Nein nein use ze teacup, not von of those schmall schotglasses, zhis ist vunderbahr news. If ve handle zhis vell, ze war in ze West can be over within ein month! Ze Tommies vill become zo over-extended zhat zhey vill have no energy left to fight us! . . .Ja, Danke . . . Nein fill it to ze top, it ist mein Schnapps after all! Hahahahaha! Drink up Herren, und zhen I vill phone Berlin. Zhis ist VUNDERBAHR! Zhis Tommy plan ist zo diabolically clever itz almost, vell almost . . . Deutsch!
Ein Toast to ze Tommies. HA! Und even using girls to do ze infiltration of ze American industry, zhe Ami's vill never know vhot hit zhem! Leave ze transcripts here . . . No keep ze bottle . . . I vill phone Berlin now!"
Two hundred kilometres away and a few minutes later a telephone starts ringing on the desk of an office in the Reichstag. Behind a closed door to the one side of the office an enraged voice is screaming some indistinct threats at somebody. Some shouted phrases creep under the closed door and escape up towards the high ceilings to echo amongst the high beams in their frightened flight. Guards in black uniforms are trying to studiously ignore the voice, and shift uncomfortably in their positions, wishing to be in their barracks rather than here. The past week has been particularly bad: reports filtering in from the various fronts has not been good enough.
The office door flies open and a harassed looking Rudolph Hess rushes out. He grabs the offending phone and tries to strangle it. The insistent sounding voice on the other side of the earpiece finally manages to penetrate through the projected anger. Hess loosens his stranglehold on the receiver of the phone and finally the words manage to rush through.
"HesszhisistRommelatSfegIchhavewunderbahrnewsfuryouzewarinzewestistnearlyover"
"HALT . . . Rommel . . . repeat . . . what was zhat you said about ze war in ze West been virtually over??"
As the conversation proceeds in more normal tones, Hess slowly sinks down in the chair behind the desk and fumbles a cigarette from a crumpled pack, the expressions on his face writing a thousand best-sellers.
In the Harz mountains a chilly breeze blows a yellow message transcript from Rommel's table. He is too busy to notice. He only pauses for a second to wipe some spittle from the corners of his mouth and then continues his rushed explanation of the current intelligence breakthrough.
A beam of weak sunlight theatrically highlights the message transcript on the floor.
SPICE GIRLS INVADES AMERICA- API - Reuters Special Report
After a clandestine arrival late last night the American public have discovered the presence in America of this special "all-girl" group this morning. Thousands of Americans are flocking to their sides to demonstrate their support of the Spice Girls. This has been the biggest turn-out ever by the American public in support of any foreign group. This ground-breaking tour of force follows after months of failed negotiations about venues and rights with American interest groups.
Our correspondent reports that some say that the Boston Tea Party has finally been revenged. It is quite possible that "blood would flow" later this morning when British representatives and agents for this "tour of force" meet up with American groups vying for a better tactical position in this volatile . . .
Tranzmizzion interrupted due to ein change in atmospheric konditions...
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